In the Coracle

1-2-3 Meme

February 6, 2008 // 2 Comments »

The game is to grab the book nearest to you and turn to page 123. Find the 5th sentence and share the next 3 sentences with everyone. No fair looking through several books - just grab the closest one to you. Then you tag five people.

I happen to have just gotten a nice copy of Orthodox Alaska: A Theology of Mission in the mail. (Dang, these are getting really hard to find, apparently).

The 5th sentence begins a quote:

Although perhaps you know me only by rumors, you have thus opened to me the way of boldness; confident in your generosity, allow me to speak: This country has been entrusted to our nation like a new-born baby, still incapable of acquiring knowledge… It isin need not only of protection but support… Therefore, I appeal to you in the name of these people, myself being their humble servant and nurse, writing my appeal with tears of blood: be a father and patron for us… wipe the tears of defenseless orphans, refresh our hearts burning with the fever of suffering; let us know what consolation is.

Next up? I tag Jeff, Thomas, Chris, Colleen and Rose.

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Blues Rules

December 7, 2007 // 1 Comment »

Damn Right, I Got the Blues!

I’ve been listening to as lot of blues lately. Lots of reasons for that, but no big deal.

I found out that my Blues Name is Sleepy Gumbo Parker (what’s yours?)

Here’s some Blues Rules that you should know about if you don’t already:

1. Most Blues begin with: “Woke up this morning…”

2. “I got a good woman” is a bad way to begin the Blues unless you stick
something nasty in the next line like “I got a good woman with the
meanest face in town.”

3. The Blues is simple. After you get the first line right, repeat it.
Then find something that rhymes, sort of: “Got a good woman with the meanest
face in town. Yes, I got a good woman with the meanest face in town. Got
teeth like Margaret Thatcher, and she weigh 500 pound.”

4. The Blues is not about choice. You stuck in a ditch, you stuck in a ditch. There ain’t no way out.

5. Blues cars: Chevys, Fords, Cadillacs and broken-down trucks. Blues
don’t travel in Volvos, BMWs, or SUVs. Most Blues transportation is a
Greyhound bus or a southbound train. Jet aircraft and state-sponsored motor pools
ain’t even in the running. Walkin’ plays a major part in the blues
lifestyle. So does fixin’ to die.

6. Teenagers can’t sing the Blues. They ain’t fixin’ to die yet. Adults
sing the Blues. In Blues, “adulthood” means being old enough to get the
electric chair if you shoot a man in Memphis.

7. Blues can take place in New York City but not in Hawaii or anyplace
in Canada. Hard times in Minneapolis or Seattle is probably just clinical
depression. Chicago, St. Louis, and Kansas City are still great places
to have the Blues. You cannot have the blues anyplace that don’t get rain.

8. A man with male pattern baldness ain’t the Blues. A woman with male
pattern baldness is. Breaking your leg ’cause you were skiing is not the
blues. Breaking your leg ’cause a alligator be chomping on it is.

9. You can’t have no Blues in a office or a shopping mall. The lighting
is wrong. Go out to the parking lot or sit by the dumpster.

10. Good places for the Blues:
a. highway
b. jailhouse
c. empty bed
d. bottom of a whiskey glass

Bad places for the Blues:
a. Nordstrom’s
b. gallery openings
c. Ivy League colleges
d. golf courses

11. No one will believe it’s the Blues if you wear a suit, ‘less you
happen to be an old ethnic person, and you slept in it.

12. Do you have the right to sing the Blues?

Yes, if:
a. you older than dirt
b. you blind
c. you shot a man in Memphis
d. you can’t be satisfied

No, if:
a. you have all your teeth
b. you were once blind but now can see
c. the man in Memphis lived
d. you have a 401K or trust fund

13. Blues is not a matter of color. It’s a matter of bad luck. Tiger Woods cannot sing the blues. Sonny Liston could. Ugly white people also got a
leg up on the blues.

14. If you ask for water and your darlin’ give you gasoline, it’s the Blues.
Other acceptable Blues beverages are:
a. cheap wine
b. whiskey or bourbon
c. muddy water
d. nasty black coffee

The following are NOT Blues beverages:
a. Perrier
b. Chardonnay
c. Snapple
d. Slim Fast

15. If death occurs in a cheap motel or a shotgun shack, it’s a Blues
death. Stabbed in the back by a jealous lover is another Blues way to die. So
are the electric chair, substance abuse and dying lonely on a broken-down cot.
You can’t have a Blues death if you die during a tennis match or while
getting liposuction.

16. Some Blues names for women:
a. Sadie
b. Big Mama
c. Bessie
d. Fat River Dumpling

17. Some Blues names for men:
a. Joe
b. Willie
c. Little Willie
d. Big Willie

18. Persons with names like Amber, Jennifer, Tiffany, Debbie, and
Heather can’t sing the Blues no matter how many men they shoot in Memphis.

19. Make your own Blues name Starter Kit:
a. name of physical infirmity (Blind, Cripple, Lame, etc.)
b. first name (see above) plus name of fruit (Lemon, Lime, etc..)
c. last name of President (Jefferson, Johnson, Fillmore, etc.)
Examples: Blind Lime Jefferson, Jackleg Lemon Johnson.

20. No matter how tragic your life, if you own a computer you cannot sing the blues

Source: here and a jillion other places around the Interweb

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A Shel Silverstein Poem about Me

November 14, 2007 // No Comments »

One of my favorite poems as a kid is from the funky ol’ poet, Shel Silverstein. May I present to you:

“Loser”

Mama said I’d lose my head
If it wasn’t fastened on.
Today I guess it wasn’t
‘Cause while playing with my cousin
It fell off and rolled away
And now its gone.

And I can’t look for it
‘Cause my eyes are in it,
And I can’t call to it
‘Cause my mouth is on it
(Couldn’t hear me anyway
‘Cause my ears are on it),
Can’t even think about it
‘Cause my brain is in it.
So I guess I’ll sit down
On this rock
And rest for just a minuteâ€¦

Now, I would wager that something about NF’s or NFP’s makes this a personality trait… but this certainly is ME.

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Literary Meme - an oldie but a goodie

May 14, 2007 // 2 Comments »

Mike Clawson over at Emerging Pensees passed along a good meme that I’m pretty sure I’ve done before. Here’s how it goes:

1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Open it to page 161.
3. Find the fifth full sentence.
4. Post the text of the sentence along with these instructions.
5. Don’t search around and look for the coolest book you can find. Do what’s actually next to you.

Here’s what I found:

“The Breastplate of Patrick - Lorica in Latin, in Irish the Faeth Fiada - is a morning song of praise and invocation.”
- from St. Patrick of Ireland by Philip Freeman

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“It’s almost like you’re writing a book one post at a time” - Kedge

1-2-3 Meme

Blues Rules

A Shel Silverstein Poem about Me

Literary Meme - an oldie but a goodie