(Originally written for emergingevangelism.com, then crossposted here):
Top 10 Reasons Why I Am Afraid To Evangelize (current as of Friday April 22, 2005)
10. I can never remember which side of the Bridge I’m supposed to be on
9. I get the street addresses in the Romans Road all mixed up
8. I’m afraid that people might think of me like they think of that farting preacher guy, only less funny
7. I’m too frequently unprepared to answer the question, “if you believe that stuff, why don’t you do it?”
6. It’s more comfortable to ask other people questions to get to know them than choreographing a discussion to meet my own needs
5. Afraid they’ll throw me out of the coffeeshop and not let me come back tomorrow
4. I keep waiting for somebody else with better hair to do it
3. I still can’t figure out how to say “Jesus” in 4 syllables like the TV guys
2. “I believe in Jesus; I believe he’s the Son of God. But every time I sit down to explain this to somebody, I feel like a palm reader.” – Don Miller, Blue Like Jazz
And the Number One Reason Why I’m Afraid To Evangelize:
1. I’m only interested in evangelism in my own weird way, which of course I think is the only right way. You know, have friends, and if they happen to stumble into asking something, then answer cryptically. (I can do a pretty fantastic job of justifying myself in that style since I see elements of that in Jesus’ style, but 92% of me knows that this is blarney.)
Disclaimer: Some of these items may be made up in order to be funny. I’m not completely sure which ones they are.
You can't remember which side of the bridge you are supposed to be on? Brother you need help! ;)
You get the street addresses in the Romans Road mixed up? Poor sense of direction do we?
Seriously, I resonate with this post, but just one question: Is doing the things that you mention here (or mention that you can't do) really what we want to continue to call "evangelism"? Rethinking church, rethinking spiritual formation, rethinking ___________, why not rethink evangleism? Many are, and I would bet that you are in fact one of them Pat.
And Pat, you link the most hilarious stuff. ;)
Thanks Arlen –
It would probably help to have some more background info on this post. I wrote this for the collaborative blog over at emergingevangelism.com as a Friday "spoof" type thing.
I would hope that we're rethinking evangelism just as we're reformulating the gospel message. I know I'm definitely trying to get my heart wrapped around what evangelism really is, and what it really is not.
Number 10 made me laugh inside, but number 1 hit too close to home. I'm totally sold on your (my) weird way of evangelism. The only problem I've approximately 0 people to Jesus in the last three years. Or–if you don't want to count conversions–I've had approximately 3 conversations in the last three years. And two of them were with Christians.
The whole thing grew out of an IM chat I was having with Bill Bean of beanbooks.com, telling him that I was rereading a particulr book. I posted that #1 thing to him, and he said, "that'll blog". So I filled in the others as fluff :-)